Quote

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Like
Worry
Doesn

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
Erma Bombeck
Image
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
Erma Bombeck
Image
I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
Erma Bombeck