Quote

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Enough
Wear
Graceful
Giving
Courage
Attending
Something
Instead
Carrying
State
Funeral
Certain
Hats
Give
Feminine
States
Someday
May
Dignity

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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
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Children make your life important.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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