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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Body
Vacation
Sand
Saltwater
Beach
Belongings
Keeping
Vacations
Bodies
Beaches
Skin
Occupy
Skins
Sunny
Sun
Belonging

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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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