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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Keeping
Vacations
Bodies
Beaches
Skin
Occupy
Skins
Sunny
Sun
Belonging
Body
Vacation
Sand
Saltwater
Beach
Belongings

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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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