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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Sand
Saltwater
Beach
Belongings
Keeping
Vacations
Bodies
Beaches
Skin
Occupy
Skins
Sunny
Sun
Belonging
Body
Vacation
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
Erma Bombeck
Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
Erma Bombeck
Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Erma Bombeck
Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
Erma Bombeck
It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
Erma Bombeck
Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
Friends are annuals that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a perennial that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
Erma Bombeck
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
Erma Bombeck
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
Erma Bombeck
Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
Erma Bombeck
My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
Erma Bombeck
If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
Erma Bombeck
One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
Erma Bombeck
When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
Erma Bombeck
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
Erma Bombeck
I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck