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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Kids
Danced
Anything
Parenting
Children
Hasn
Refuse
General
Television
Funny
Family

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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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