Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Children
Hasn
Refuse
General
Television
Funny
Family
Kids
Danced
Anything
Parenting
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
Erma Bombeck
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
Erma Bombeck
I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
Erma Bombeck
Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
Erma Bombeck
It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
Erma Bombeck
Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck
You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
Erma Bombeck
Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
Erma Bombeck
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck
The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
Erma Bombeck
Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
Erma Bombeck
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck
When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they slapped a name tag on my left bosom. I always smiled and said, 'Now, what shall we name the other one?' That would no longer be a problem.
Erma Bombeck
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
Erma Bombeck
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Erma Bombeck
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
Erma Bombeck
