Quote

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Literature
House
Long
Regarded
Guests
Leave

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they slapped a name tag on my left bosom. I always smiled and said, 'Now, what shall we name the other one?' That would no longer be a problem.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck
Image
All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
Erma Bombeck
Image
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
Erma Bombeck