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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Stealing
Literature
Year
Anyone
Two
Cart
Years
Carts
Would
Steal
Like
Shopping

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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
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Children make your life important.
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
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There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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