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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Stealing
Literature
Year
Anyone
Two
Cart
Years
Carts
Would
Steal
Like
Shopping

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
Erma Bombeck
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
Erma Bombeck
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
Erma Bombeck
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck