Quote

There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Thing
Never
Figure
Figures
Wants
Taught
Body

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
Erma Bombeck
Image
not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck
Image
With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck
Image
No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
Erma Bombeck
Image
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Erma Bombeck
Image
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
Erma Bombeck
Image
No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck