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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Sale
Week
Literature
Next
Anything
Come

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
Erma Bombeck
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
Erma Bombeck
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
Erma Bombeck
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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
Erma Bombeck
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
Erma Bombeck
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
Erma Bombeck
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Erma Bombeck
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
Erma Bombeck