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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Pastime
Gossip
Baseball
National
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
Every puppy should have a boy.
Erma Bombeck
A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
Erma Bombeck
I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
Erma Bombeck
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
Erma Bombeck
In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
Erma Bombeck
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck
I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
Erma Bombeck
Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
Erma Bombeck
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
Erma Bombeck
It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
Erma Bombeck
I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
Erma Bombeck
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
Erma Bombeck
Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
Erma Bombeck
There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
Erma Bombeck
Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
Erma Bombeck
My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
Erma Bombeck
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck
Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
Erma Bombeck