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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Pastime
Gossip
Baseball
National

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
Erma Bombeck
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
Erma Bombeck
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
Erma Bombeck
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
Erma Bombeck
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck