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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Politics
Cereal
Literature
Topic
Religion
Controversial
Family
Topics
Like
Planning
Brought
Food
Public

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Erma Bombeck
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
Erma Bombeck
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Erma Bombeck
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
Erma Bombeck
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Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
Erma Bombeck
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
Erma Bombeck
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Erma Bombeck
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
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Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
Erma Bombeck
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
Erma Bombeck
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
Erma Bombeck
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I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
Erma Bombeck
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
Erma Bombeck