Quote

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Wait
Car
Waiting
Literature
Funny
Place
Groceries
Kids
Perceived
Always
Bathroom

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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed? Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother? Wasn't there any change?
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Children make your life important.
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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