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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Always
Bathroom
Wait
Car
Waiting
Literature
Funny
Place
Groceries
Kids
Perceived
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
Erma Bombeck
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Erma Bombeck
I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
Erma Bombeck
I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Erma Bombeck
I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
Erma Bombeck
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck
It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
Erma Bombeck
One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
Erma Bombeck
