Quote

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Car
Waiting
Literature
Funny
Place
Groceries
Kids
Perceived
Always
Bathroom
Wait

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
Erma Bombeck
Image
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they slapped a name tag on my left bosom. I always smiled and said, 'Now, what shall we name the other one?' That would no longer be a problem.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
Erma Bombeck
Image
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
Erma Bombeck