Quote

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Ever
Spread
Remake
Children
Sick
Remakes
Died
Wrinkles
Sleep
Crooked
Literature
Blanket
Known
Sleeping
Family
Mothers
Unmade
Mother
Bed
Wrinkle

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
Erma Bombeck
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
Erma Bombeck
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
Erma Bombeck
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
Erma Bombeck
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
Erma Bombeck
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I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
Erma Bombeck
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
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