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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Literature
Publicly
Better
Admit
Children
Critical
People
Somewhere
Asking
Parents
Parent
Written

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Friends are annuals that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a perennial that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
Erma Bombeck
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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