Quote

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Years
Practicals
Time
Practical
Sign
View
Rooms
Checkout
Views
Checkouts
Take
Individualism
Children
Raising

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Erma Bombeck
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
Erma Bombeck
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
Erma Bombeck
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
Erma Bombeck
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
Erma Bombeck
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
Erma Bombeck
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
Erma Bombeck
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
Erma Bombeck
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
Erma Bombeck
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When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they slapped a name tag on my left bosom. I always smiled and said, 'Now, what shall we name the other one?' That would no longer be a problem.
Erma Bombeck
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
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She's as funny as a toothache
Erma Bombeck
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Erma Bombeck
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
Erma Bombeck
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
Erma Bombeck
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
Erma Bombeck