Quote

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Individualism
Take
Raising
Children
Practicals
Years
Practical
Time
Sign
View
Rooms
Checkout
Checkouts
Views

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
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I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her before picture.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.
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I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
Erma Bombeck
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
Erma Bombeck
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
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Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
Erma Bombeck
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
Erma Bombeck