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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Women
Buzzards
Exercised
Thin
Followed
Cars
Car
Inspiration
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.
Erma Bombeck
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck
My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
Erma Bombeck
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
Erma Bombeck
I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
Erma Bombeck
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
Erma Bombeck
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck
Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Erma Bombeck
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
Erma Bombeck
In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
Erma Bombeck
Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
Erma Bombeck
Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
Erma Bombeck
If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
Erma Bombeck
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck