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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Women
Buzzards
Exercised
Thin
Followed
Cars
Car
Inspiration

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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
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Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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