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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Considered
Food
Funny
Family
Inspirational
Beverage
Come
Beverages
Life
Cookery
Gravy

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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I used everything you gave me.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
Erma Bombeck
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
Erma Bombeck
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
Erma Bombeck
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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
Erma Bombeck
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
Erma Bombeck
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
Erma Bombeck
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
Erma Bombeck
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
Erma Bombeck
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
Erma Bombeck
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
Erma Bombeck
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
Erma Bombeck
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
Erma Bombeck