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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Since
High
Literature
School
Reunion
Done
Graduated
Never
Graduation
Think
Pregnancy
Thinking
Pregnant

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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