Quote

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
School
Hurt
Home
Alone
Summertime
Children
Child
Thirteen
Work
High
Occupation
Call
Hour
Hours
Summer
Times
Risk
Mother
Parent

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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
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