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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Make
Sassy
Life
Laughter
Motivation
Laugh
Laughing
Inspirational
Problem
Better

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
Erma Bombeck
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
Erma Bombeck
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She's as funny as a toothache
Erma Bombeck
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
Erma Bombeck
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
Erma Bombeck
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
Erma Bombeck
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I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
Erma Bombeck
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
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When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma Bombeck
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
Erma Bombeck