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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Success
Helen
Madonna
Confuse
Confusing
Determination
Greatness
Fame
Successful
Keller

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
Erma Bombeck
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
Erma Bombeck
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
Erma Bombeck
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
Erma Bombeck
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
Erma Bombeck
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Erma Bombeck
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
Erma Bombeck
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
Erma Bombeck
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
Erma Bombeck
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
Erma Bombeck
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
Erma Bombeck
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
Erma Bombeck
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Erma Bombeck
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
Erma Bombeck