Quote

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Door
Multiply
Doors
Items
Theory
Cleaning
Multiplying
Fire
Cares
Refrigerator
Funny
Catch
Refrigerators
Doesn
Organized
Item
Else
Block
Chores
Care
Smell
Housework

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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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