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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Mother
Mothering
Become
Slowly
Mom
Judgment
Compassion
Understanding
Turns
Family

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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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