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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Family
Mother
Mothering
Become
Slowly
Mom
Judgment
Compassion
Understanding
Turns

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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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