Quote

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Pieces
Grandmother
Answers
Anyway
Asks
Mom
Inspirational
Piece
Doesn
Mere
Mother
Daughter
Formality
Matter
Answer
Mothering
Going
Advice
Motherhood

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
Erma Bombeck
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
Erma Bombeck
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
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I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
Erma Bombeck
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
Erma Bombeck
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
Erma Bombeck
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
Erma Bombeck
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
Erma Bombeck
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When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma Bombeck
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There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
Erma Bombeck
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Every puppy should have a boy.
Erma Bombeck
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck
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Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
Erma Bombeck
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
Erma Bombeck
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
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When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they slapped a name tag on my left bosom. I always smiled and said, 'Now, what shall we name the other one?' That would no longer be a problem.
Erma Bombeck
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
Erma Bombeck
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck