Quote

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Fun
Funny
Doesn
Diet
Diets
Fats
Laughter
Friendship
Friend

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck
Image
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
Erma Bombeck
Image
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
Erma Bombeck
Image
When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
Erma Bombeck
Image
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
Image
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
Erma Bombeck