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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Diets
Fats
Laughter
Friendship
Friend
Fun
Funny
Doesn
Diet
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
Erma Bombeck
Every puppy should have a boy.
Erma Bombeck
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
Erma Bombeck
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
Erma Bombeck
With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
Erma Bombeck
Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
Erma Bombeck
Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
Erma Bombeck
Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
Erma Bombeck
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
Erma Bombeck
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
Erma Bombeck
It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
Erma Bombeck
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
Erma Bombeck
Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
Erma Bombeck
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
Erma Bombeck
It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
Erma Bombeck
Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
Erma Bombeck
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck