The fashionable Canadian drug habit, instead of cocaine, is to sniff real snow.

The first humans to come to Canada were the Indians. There is some mystery as to where the Indians came from. Some experts say that they came from the same place as the Eskimo. This doesn't help much because nobody knows where the Eskimo came from either. (Except the Eskimo, and they aren't talking.)

Very little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost it.

Clearly, if Confederation is to survive another 100 years, Canada must find a national esprit de corps. Cohesion cannot depend indefinitely on hating Toronto.