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How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
Eoin Colfer
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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Girl
June
Firsts
Fabulous
First
Wedding
Planning
Conversation
Lengthy
Asked
Dripping
Age
Artemis
Voice
Sarcasm
More quotes by Eoin Colfer
Don’t feel bad I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.
Eoin Colfer
Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.
Eoin Colfer
Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
Eoin Colfer
Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes. That's professor Moriarty, corrected Foaly. Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.
Eoin Colfer
Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.
Eoin Colfer
There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.
Eoin Colfer
A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.
Eoin Colfer
Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
Eoin Colfer
The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
Eoin Colfer
My bugs don't have bugs.
Eoin Colfer
And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.
Eoin Colfer
Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.
Eoin Colfer
If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.
Eoin Colfer
Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?
Eoin Colfer
A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
Eoin Colfer
Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly
Eoin Colfer
(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
Eoin Colfer
Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
Eoin Colfer
I am not exuding anything, said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.
Eoin Colfer
...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
Eoin Colfer