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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity? Artemis blinked. Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Thinking
Theory
Fowl
Heard
Artemis
Littles
Relativity
Ever
Traveled
Little
Joke
Something
Doctor
Time
Doctors
Think
Jokes
Blinked

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
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We lost the crickets.
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The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
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Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.
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Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
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Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
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Good. Illegal is always faster.
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Together we will be unstoppable.
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Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.
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I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
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People like me, LB, the truly great ones ... we are always alone.
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How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
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Mulch was not impressed. 'I'm not impressed,' he said.
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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.
Eoin Colfer
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Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
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Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly.
Eoin Colfer
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...This is the only way. I will not allow humans or fairies to die when I might have prevented it.” Butler would not give up. “Listen to yourself. You sound like a... like a good guy! There’s nothing in this for you.
Eoin Colfer
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My bugs don't have bugs.
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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
Eoin Colfer
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Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?
Eoin Colfer