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Artemis Fowl will never be secondary. I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Never
Hollies
Holly
Fowl
Artemis
Secondary
Second
Thought

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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
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Mulch was not impressed. 'I'm not impressed,' he said.
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Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!
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Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
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Me, Artemis blurted. I'm the nut. Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. I'm the nut! Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
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I don't like lollipops.
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(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
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I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
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A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
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Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
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I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
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No alcohol, Riley. She nodded at the screen. How are you liking the twenty-first century? Riley burped. The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts.
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And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.
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If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
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It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?
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Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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