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I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Scary
Sounds
Sound
Anything
Butler
Butlers

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
Eoin Colfer
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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.
Eoin Colfer
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If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
Eoin Colfer
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Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
Eoin Colfer
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Mulch was not impressed. 'I'm not impressed,' he said.
Eoin Colfer
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Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four? Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. I don't think Opal bothers with laws.
Eoin Colfer
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Don't hate me forever, Arty, whispered Holly. I couldn't bear that.
Eoin Colfer
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The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
Eoin Colfer
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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
Eoin Colfer
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(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
Eoin Colfer
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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
Eoin Colfer
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Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.
Eoin Colfer
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Don’t feel bad I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.
Eoin Colfer
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That’s what I thought. When I looked that human in the face. I figured he was either a genius or crazy.” Artemis’s cool eyes glared at them from the screen. “So which is it?” asked Foaly. “A genius or crazy?” Root grabbed his tri-barreled blaster from the gun rack. “What’s the difference?
Eoin Colfer
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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?
Eoin Colfer
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In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.
Eoin Colfer
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'Insanity... I like it.
Eoin Colfer
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There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.
Eoin Colfer
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Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!
Eoin Colfer