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I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Sounds
Sound
Anything
Butler
Butlers
Scary

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!
Eoin Colfer
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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
Eoin Colfer
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Im riding a troll! i was born to do this,and steal stuff, and EAT LOADS!
Eoin Colfer
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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.
Eoin Colfer
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Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I.
Eoin Colfer
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Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
Eoin Colfer
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(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
Eoin Colfer
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
Eoin Colfer
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
Eoin Colfer
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Don’t feel bad I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.
Eoin Colfer
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Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
Eoin Colfer
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I bet, said Mulch, that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn. Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer. Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
Eoin Colfer
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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin Colfer
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That’s what I thought. When I looked that human in the face. I figured he was either a genius or crazy.” Artemis’s cool eyes glared at them from the screen. “So which is it?” asked Foaly. “A genius or crazy?” Root grabbed his tri-barreled blaster from the gun rack. “What’s the difference?
Eoin Colfer
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
Eoin Colfer
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Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.
Eoin Colfer
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And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.
Eoin Colfer
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Good. Illegal is always faster.
Eoin Colfer
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Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.
Eoin Colfer