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Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Smoothly
Translate
Paper
Plans
Sometimes
Real
Life

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.
Eoin Colfer
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Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
Eoin Colfer
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The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
Eoin Colfer
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Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four? Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. I don't think Opal bothers with laws.
Eoin Colfer
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I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today. He leaned in close and whispered, I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
Eoin Colfer
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Mulch was not impressed. 'I'm not impressed,' he said.
Eoin Colfer
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Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.
Eoin Colfer
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I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
Eoin Colfer
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There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.
Eoin Colfer
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Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes. That's professor Moriarty, corrected Foaly. Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.
Eoin Colfer
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A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.
Eoin Colfer
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I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
Eoin Colfer
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Wait, said Butler. Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan. He squinted through the green dome. What is your plan, Artemis? All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
Eoin Colfer
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There’s always time for babbling.
Eoin Colfer
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If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.
Eoin Colfer
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My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!
Eoin Colfer
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A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
Eoin Colfer
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Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.
Eoin Colfer
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I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.
Eoin Colfer