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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Think
Sneaky
Thinking
Punishing
Youngsters
Thrill
Spite
Parents
Parent
Children

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Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.
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Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.
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Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.
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A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
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Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
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Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly.
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Onscreen, Foaly rubbed his eyelids with his index fingers. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Captain Short goes rogue once more. Hands up who's surprised. Anyone?
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The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it. It shouldn't be Who do we hate?, he thought, it really should be whom, but this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up.
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No alcohol, Riley. She nodded at the screen. How are you liking the twenty-first century? Riley burped. The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts.
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The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
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Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. Mmm, he mumbled around his tongue. Horse. Tasty Let's go, said Foaly nervously. Let's go right now.
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That was all he said, except for Aaaeerrgghhh. Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed Aaaeerrgghhh was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.
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You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue
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The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
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Good. Illegal is always faster.
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Artemis: Holly, how did you find me? Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now, who could that be?
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A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.
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Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
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Of course I saved you, she said. I couldn't do without you. And because she was happy and flushed with magic Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.
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