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Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Dude
Hilarious
Show
Shows
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More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl
Eoin Colfer
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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity? Artemis blinked. Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
Eoin Colfer
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My bugs don't have bugs.
Eoin Colfer
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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.
Eoin Colfer
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I bet, said Mulch, that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn. Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer. Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
Eoin Colfer
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
Eoin Colfer
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Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?
Eoin Colfer
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I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
Eoin Colfer
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I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show.
Eoin Colfer
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Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
Eoin Colfer
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I don't like lollipops.
Eoin Colfer
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Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.
Eoin Colfer
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Anything else, Butler? The cosh, sir.
Eoin Colfer
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When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
Eoin Colfer
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Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.
Eoin Colfer
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A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
Eoin Colfer
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We lost the crickets, she said. Even you can't make that sound tough. ...I am Butler, he said with a straight-face. Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis Fowl will never be secondary. I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly.
Eoin Colfer
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin Colfer
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Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
Eoin Colfer