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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Names
Help
Tag
Helping
Idiots
Find
Saves
Time
Dealing
People
Idiot
Wear
Name

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.
Eoin Colfer
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Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.
Eoin Colfer
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We lost the crickets, she said. Even you can't make that sound tough. ...I am Butler, he said with a straight-face. Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.
Eoin Colfer
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The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
Eoin Colfer
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The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
Eoin Colfer
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Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.
Eoin Colfer
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Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.
Eoin Colfer
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Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes. That's professor Moriarty, corrected Foaly. Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.
Eoin Colfer
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What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
Eoin Colfer
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A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
Eoin Colfer
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Who or what inspires you? I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.
Eoin Colfer
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Good. Illegal is always faster.
Eoin Colfer
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The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it. It shouldn't be Who do we hate?, he thought, it really should be whom, but this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up.
Eoin Colfer
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I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.
Eoin Colfer
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Of course I saved you, she said. I couldn't do without you. And because she was happy and flushed with magic Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.
Eoin Colfer
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Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.
Eoin Colfer
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I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
Eoin Colfer
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Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.
Eoin Colfer
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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
Eoin Colfer