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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
People
Idiot
Wear
Name
Names
Help
Tag
Helping
Idiots
Find
Saves
Time
Dealing

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
Eoin Colfer
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The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
Eoin Colfer
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
Eoin Colfer
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Victor Vigny: It is like the old fairy tale. The boy saves the princess they fall in love. He invents a flying machine - along with his dashing teacher, of course. They get married and name thier firstborn after the aforementioned dashing teacher. Conor: I don't recall that fairy tale from the nursery. Victor Vigny: Trust me, It's a classic.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.
Eoin Colfer
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If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
Eoin Colfer
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
Eoin Colfer
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Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers
Eoin Colfer
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Control puberty? snorted the bodyguard.If you manage that, you'll be the first.
Eoin Colfer
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Oh,It's going to be so easy to kill you,scoffed Opal.
Eoin Colfer
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We lost the crickets.
Eoin Colfer
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Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.
Eoin Colfer
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Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly.
Eoin Colfer
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Scientists are the enemies of tradition , and tradition own all the prisons. - Victor Vigny
Eoin Colfer
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
Eoin Colfer
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Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?
Eoin Colfer
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Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
Eoin Colfer
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Anything else, Butler? The cosh, sir.
Eoin Colfer
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Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
Eoin Colfer
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If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.
Eoin Colfer