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The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Miracle
Boys
Pours
Millions
Toilet
Modern
Mud
Science
Toilets
Department
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Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?
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Anything else, Butler? The cosh, sir.
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The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
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In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.
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Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly
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Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
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I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.
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Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly.
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Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!
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Me, Artemis blurted. I'm the nut. Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. I'm the nut! Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
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What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.
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How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
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When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
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Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. Mmm, he mumbled around his tongue. Horse. Tasty Let's go, said Foaly nervously. Let's go right now.
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Wait, said Butler. Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan. He squinted through the green dome. What is your plan, Artemis? All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
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A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
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Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone.
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Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes. That's professor Moriarty, corrected Foaly. Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.
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Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.
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Victor Vigny: It is like the old fairy tale. The boy saves the princess they fall in love. He invents a flying machine - along with his dashing teacher, of course. They get married and name thier firstborn after the aforementioned dashing teacher. Conor: I don't recall that fairy tale from the nursery. Victor Vigny: Trust me, It's a classic.
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