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The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Toilets
Department
Send
Miracle
Boys
Millions
Pours
Modern
Toilet
Science
Mud

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Maybe I’ll keep you.” Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis’s back with his sword. “It’d be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks.” “I have a trick for you,” said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun.
Eoin Colfer
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It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.
Eoin Colfer
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Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.
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Sounded like girls. Mixed feelings on that score. He didn't despise them with the same passion he used to. In fact, Benny suspected that there would come a time in the not-too-distant future when he might develop a mysterious interest in them.
Eoin Colfer
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How was your... eh... trip? Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. Um, eventful.
Eoin Colfer
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Don't hate me forever, Arty, whispered Holly. I couldn't bear that.
Eoin Colfer
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
Eoin Colfer
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...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.
Eoin Colfer
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Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
Eoin Colfer
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Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.
Eoin Colfer
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How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
Eoin Colfer
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Wait, said Butler. Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan. He squinted through the green dome. What is your plan, Artemis? All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
Eoin Colfer
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I have no time for babbling foolishness.” “Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.
Eoin Colfer
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Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
Eoin Colfer
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Don’t feel bad I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.
Eoin Colfer
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No alcohol, Riley. She nodded at the screen. How are you liking the twenty-first century? Riley burped. The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts.
Eoin Colfer
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Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.
Eoin Colfer
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'Insanity... I like it.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
Eoin Colfer