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The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Modern
Toilet
Science
Mud
Toilets
Department
Send
Miracle
Boys
Millions
Pours

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
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If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter he will pay you a decent wage.” “Will he make me bathe?” “No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” “Ah. One of those.
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There’s always time for babbling.
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(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)
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She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl
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A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
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The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
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I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
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As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.
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Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
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Of course I saved you, she said. I couldn't do without you. And because she was happy and flushed with magic Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.
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Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
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Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.
Eoin Colfer
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Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
Eoin Colfer
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I don't like lollipops.
Eoin Colfer
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In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.
Eoin Colfer
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
Eoin Colfer