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The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Science
Mud
Toilets
Department
Send
Miracle
Boys
Millions
Pours
Modern
Toilet

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Look! said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, Someone who cares!
Eoin Colfer
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I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today. He leaned in close and whispered, I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you.
Eoin Colfer
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That’s what I thought. When I looked that human in the face. I figured he was either a genius or crazy.” Artemis’s cool eyes glared at them from the screen. “So which is it?” asked Foaly. “A genius or crazy?” Root grabbed his tri-barreled blaster from the gun rack. “What’s the difference?
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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone.
Eoin Colfer
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I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
Eoin Colfer
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Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
Eoin Colfer
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'Insanity... I like it.
Eoin Colfer
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Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis: How long will it take you to prepare the time spell? N1 chewed his knuckle: About as long as it takes you to take your clothes off. Aaarrk, Artemis half choked.
Eoin Colfer
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Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
Eoin Colfer
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In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.
Eoin Colfer
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Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.
Eoin Colfer
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There’s always time for babbling.
Eoin Colfer
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Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying.
Eoin Colfer
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Victor Vigny: It is like the old fairy tale. The boy saves the princess they fall in love. He invents a flying machine - along with his dashing teacher, of course. They get married and name thier firstborn after the aforementioned dashing teacher. Conor: I don't recall that fairy tale from the nursery. Victor Vigny: Trust me, It's a classic.
Eoin Colfer
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Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.
Eoin Colfer
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Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
Eoin Colfer
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The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
Eoin Colfer