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Don’t feel bad I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.

Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Regularly
Reduce
Feel
Feels
People
Unintelligible

More quotes by Eoin Colfer

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I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today. He leaned in close and whispered, I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you.
Eoin Colfer
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Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube? It's always cubes with you, noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. What's wrong with a nice sphere?
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
Eoin Colfer
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Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time? Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember? No. I was unconscious.
Eoin Colfer
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When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.
Eoin Colfer
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(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.
Eoin Colfer
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There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.
Eoin Colfer
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Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
Eoin Colfer
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Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
Eoin Colfer
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It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?
Eoin Colfer
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Artemis: Holly, how did you find me? Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now, who could that be?
Eoin Colfer
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I don't like lollipops.
Eoin Colfer
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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
Eoin Colfer
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The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it. It shouldn't be Who do we hate?, he thought, it really should be whom, but this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up.
Eoin Colfer
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
Eoin Colfer
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I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
Eoin Colfer
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Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
Eoin Colfer
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Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four? Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. I don't think Opal bothers with laws.
Eoin Colfer
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...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
Eoin Colfer
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People like me, LB, the truly great ones ... we are always alone.
Eoin Colfer