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Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.
Eoin Colfer
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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Wexford
Would
Staring
Stares
Wine
Daggers
Already
Poisoned
Dead
Sword
Wife
Rests
Force
Damned
Running
Queen
Gullet
Everything
Queens
Ceremonial
More quotes by Eoin Colfer
I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
Eoin Colfer
I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.
Eoin Colfer
Victor Vigny: It is like the old fairy tale. The boy saves the princess they fall in love. He invents a flying machine - along with his dashing teacher, of course. They get married and name thier firstborn after the aforementioned dashing teacher. Conor: I don't recall that fairy tale from the nursery. Victor Vigny: Trust me, It's a classic.
Eoin Colfer
Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. Mmm, he mumbled around his tongue. Horse. Tasty Let's go, said Foaly nervously. Let's go right now.
Eoin Colfer
(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!
Eoin Colfer
Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone.
Eoin Colfer
Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
Eoin Colfer
Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
Eoin Colfer
(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)
Eoin Colfer
I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
Eoin Colfer
The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.
Eoin Colfer
Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
Eoin Colfer
(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.
Eoin Colfer
I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
Eoin Colfer
Don't hate me forever, Arty, whispered Holly. I couldn't bear that.
Eoin Colfer
As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.
Eoin Colfer
I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland. A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
Eoin Colfer
How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.
Eoin Colfer
Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.
Eoin Colfer
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
Eoin Colfer