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Other men look up and down, left and right but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
Eoin Colfer
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Eoin Colfer
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: May 14
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Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
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Wexford
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More quotes by Eoin Colfer
Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!
Eoin Colfer
Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.
Eoin Colfer
...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile. ...Where's all the loot? That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart. Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. You were here to rob me! No, I wasn't. How dare you?!
Eoin Colfer
We lost the crickets, she said. Even you can't make that sound tough. ...I am Butler, he said with a straight-face. Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.
Eoin Colfer
Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.
Eoin Colfer
The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
Eoin Colfer
Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa, intoned Opal, finishing her chant. Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin Colfer
A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.
Eoin Colfer
I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland. A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
Eoin Colfer
how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.
Eoin Colfer
Together we will be unstoppable.
Eoin Colfer
It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.
Eoin Colfer
A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
Eoin Colfer
No alcohol, Riley. She nodded at the screen. How are you liking the twenty-first century? Riley burped. The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts.
Eoin Colfer
I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
Eoin Colfer
How was your... eh... trip? Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. Um, eventful.
Eoin Colfer
Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone.
Eoin Colfer
Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?
Eoin Colfer
Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.
Eoin Colfer
I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. I am not here. Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass! Donal let out a long suffering sigh. Eoin is being a writer. Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
Eoin Colfer